A Weird State of Awareness

I am in this weird place right now, I am super aware of emotional songs. Every song I hear seems to remind me of something that I want to forget. Or do I? This could be why I don't forget. I wish I was a song-writer, because I would be pumping them out right now. Poetry and songs, gallore! You know. I am not depressed. I am deeply introspective and at times sad. However, I refuse to be depressed. I do not see a lot of room for depression while you are following Jesus. You know? The Great Promise of Grace - everything is alright. (Not everything will be alright - everything is alright.) I thought I knew a lot about faith. This is an entirely different realm of faith, but what I am going through right now requires more faith and trust in Him than I ever thought. I have to believe that I am forgiven. (Even though I don't forgive myself.) I have to believe that everything is alright. (Even though when I look up everything is in shambles.) I have to believe that God loves me. (Even though I have no understanding of why He should.) I have to believe. Now that takes faith.
Last word: faith is NOT limited to trying to goad God into giving you things. Faith is daily living and trusting that He is there to catch you even though you still feel like you are falling.